TW: Infidelity, Explicit Language

6 – Elias

This may be a controversial opinion, but I miss Boston. Not that people never miss Boston, but because I’m living in New York City is the reason why I miss Boston. It’s more than the city, it’s the prospect of what I could’ve been. I shifted my path in a different direction, one I never would’ve expected or planned for. I would go back to that party in a heartbeat and stop myself from hooking up with Scarlett. At the very least I would’ve worn a condom. The words of my mother, replay in my head about how uncharacteristic this was of me. I was reckless. This is my punishment and now I have no choice. Not only will I make the best of it. I will dominate fatherhood.

Already a month passed, and I’ve seemed to understand the workings of the subway system, although Scarlett insists, I use her family’s car service. I could probably afford my own, however my family isn’t nearly as wealthy as hers. After my father died suddenly my junior year from heart attack, my mother, Whitney Rossi, went back to work in her profession she was in before I was born, Biotechnology. My father was a lawyer and made plenty to support the three of us and left a sum to us with his passing. I know we would’ve been fine if my mom didn’t want to go back to work, but I know it was partly to give her a distraction from the grief. I constantly worry about her now that I moved. I asked if she wanted to move over here and she said she didn’t want to leave my father behind. He’s buried in Santa Monica, overlooking the beach.

Columbia University is located practically in Harlem; however, Scarlett’s apartment is in the Upper West Side overlooking Central Park. At first, I walked from the apartment to the small campus but as the seasons are approaching winter and temperatures dropping below the 40s, I find myself huddled close to other strangers on the subway. I can feel myself caving into Scarlett’s private car offer. Especially when I refuse to join her when our classes align at the same time. I’m aware I’m letting my pride rule my choices, but I’ll allow it for another week or so.

The Upper West Side is quieter in terms of New York but doesn’t have the same warmth as Boston’s brick lined streets. Though I don’t stop trying to find ways to romanticize my time. I think of Madison, how he is probably thriving at NYU. I haven’t worked up the courage to reach out to him. Scarlett hasn’t told anyone besides her parents and me that she’s pregnant. She even said she’s going to do independent study once she starts showing too much. Although I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed about, I understand her choice.

Scarlett is very intelligent but also hyper critical of her appearance. I believe it was two weeks after living with her that I finally saw her without any makeup on. She’s still strikingly beautiful. Her skin is fair like porcelain, and she wears deep red lipstick with sharp black eyeliner on a daily basis. One night I came home late from a CU Investment Group meeting to find Scarlett eating a bowl of cereal with her icy blond hair knotted above her head, her lips a light natural pink shade and two strips of a sticky face mask under her eyes. She looked up at me with a scowl and I retreated to the guest room.

We are not friendly with each other, but tolerable. I don’t get in her way, and she doesn’t get in mine. Neither of us bring home any romantic partners and I accompany her to her doctor’s appointments. Though the tension in the room when we are near each other is suffocating. I don’t know if she wants to claw my eyes out or mount my dick half of the time. I am sick in the brain. Each time she spits a cunning retort my way, I get a bit turned on. This is why whenever she’s home, I try not to be.

I find myself often walking around our neighborhood, exploring. A positive aspect of New York is that there is always something new going on. You think you’ve seen it all but then the next week, there’s a new store that opened, or new flower boxes in windows. Or a hot steaming trash can in the middle of the sidewalk that wasn’t there yesterday and still hasn’t been collected for a week.

The west side has a community garden I am quite fond of. Often, I retreat the two blocks from the apartment to sit amongst the flowers and pigeons, reading a book or listening to a podcast.

Today, I am sitting on a bench at the edge of the park, watching couples mill about. I see friends meeting up with one another. Just trying to catch a few minutes of each other’s time with their busy schedules. Across from me, on the other end of the park, sits an elderly gay couple. They are each reading a book and have their hands rested on each other. I pull out my phone and stare at my text thread with Madison. He and I exchanged a few phone calls and texts since graduating. We showed each other’s apartments on Facetime, but both found ourselves swept up in the chaos of starting college and our calls and texts became distanced. I bite the bullet and send him a tex.

Elias: What are you doing at this very moment?

Madison: Wondering when you’re going to text me.

Elias: Ah, I forgot I was signed up for the one-way texting plan.

Madison: Fair enough. I’m sitting in my apartment, just got back from the gym.

I close my eyes briefly picturing Madison’s golden skin, glowing from sweat. His muscles taught and supple from working out. He’s slightly out of breath and his hair is disheveled as he rakes his fingers through it. My phone buzzes again, yanking me out of my fantasy.

Madison: What are you doing at this very moment?

Elias: I’m sitting on a bench in the West Side Community Garden, reading Babel by R.F. Kuang.

Madison: Such impeccable taste you have, I’ve been wanting to read that.

Madison: Wait, did you say, West Side? Is that in Boston?

Elias: No, it’s in Manhattan.

Madison: You’re in Manhattan?

Elias: Why don’t you come find me and see for yourself.

I smugly slide my phone inside the chest pocket of my peacoat and resume reading my book. I’ll give Madison an hour to find me. If he doesn’t show, then I will walk directly into the Hudson River.

Just about halfway through my reading and 30 minutes later, a dashing young man in a leather bomber jacket and dark denim strides into the park. I look up smiling at him and get up as he approaches.

“What are you doing here?” Madison asks, pulling me into a hug. I angle my head down to the side of his head, leaning into his embrace.

“You’re going to want to sit down for this.” I say, motioning us to the bench I’ve been camping out at for the past hour.

I fill him in on my life the past few months, both at Harvard and the day Scarlett called me. He was visibly upset that I didn’t tell him, but I expressed I was holding up to her wishes of wanting to keep it a secret for a bit longer.

“So, you are going to be a dad? That wasn’t on my bingo card.” He sighs and falls back into the bench.

I gaze down at him, “I’ve missed you, it’s so good to see you again. Tell me how NYU is. How far are you from here?”

He turns and gives me a grin, “I missed you too, always was thinking how you were probably thriving in Harvard. Too bad it was short lived.”

“Things happen for reasons I suppose.”

“Despite the circumstances, I’m glad we are living in the same city again. I live in Greenwich Village. You’d probably love it, way more charming than here. It’s close to my school and Washington Square Park always has eclectic artists and musicians playing. I tend to sit there for hours, getting inspiration.”

“Yeah, I find myself sitting in parks as well, for other reasons but nonetheless it’s enjoyable.”

“You and Scarlett are not getting along?”

“She’s almost six months now and she is hating every moment of it. I think if she could have someone else carry her kid, she would. It’s too late now.”

“Do you know what you’re having?”

“A girl.”

“Elias, congratulations.” Madison places his hand on my shoulder and firmly squeezes.

“I feel confident about most things in life, but being a father is one I am terribly nervous about. It only makes me miss my father more. I wish I could ask him for advice.”

Madison reaches his arm around my back hugging me from the side. I lean into him, allowing him to comfort me. “No one knows what they are doing ever. I know you, and I know you’ll be the best because you never tolerate anything less than the best.”

“Thanks, Maddy.” I say and think I feel him flinch. I haven’t called him that since that night. I don’t think now is the time to bring it up to him. In this moment, I am happy to have my friend back. He removes his arm from my shoulders and turns facing me slightly.

“Has Scarlett decided on a name yet? I can’t imagine she’s taking anyone else’s opinion.”

“Actually, she didn’t want to name her. I am worried more about Scarlett’s lack of motherly affection. So, she told me to name her. I haven’t told her what the name is yet. I’m afraid she’s going to insult it or change her mind.”

“What is it?”

I look over at him and say, “Daisy. It was my father’s favorite flower.”

Madison and I kept chatting for a bit until we both had to head back to our houses. He had to help with a movie he’s a production assistant on that’s doing a night shoot. I can’t hide from Scarlett forever, so we say our goodbyes and plan to have dinner next Thursday night when both of us are free.

7 – Madison

I haven’t lived a day without thinking of Elias. He consumes my mind. I hoped to find someone to take this brain space once I came to NYU but that was a long shot. It doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. The first week of classes, the film majors had a big party at someone’s loft. I’m not sure who it was but an unknown number invited me to a massive group chat and texted an address. I had yet to find any friends, so I forced my introverted, home body self to walk to SoHo and arrive at a giant loft above the Prada store.

I arrived at around 10pm and I could hear the pop remixed music 5 blocks down the street. After muttering the password, “Coppola”, to the bouncer, I ascended the three flights of stairs up to the expansive loft. Students were milling about, huddled in conversations, drinks in hand. Waiters were floating about holding trays with shot glasses and small snack foods. I pick up a shot glass as it passes me and take it. I figured if I am going out of my comfort zone by attending this party, I might as well drink.

New York gives you that courage. To be anyone you want. Who you were before moving here is irrelevant. It’s what you do with your time here that matters and what anyone cares about. Though I still refrain from mentioning my last name if I can.

I roamed about the party and found myself taking in the view overlooking the streets of SoHo. The alcohol relaxed me a bit and I even casually chatted with a few people I recognized from my classes. A short girl with raven black hair named Poppy from my Film History class took a selfie with me after she realized who I was.

I was about to leave when a firm hand grasped my bicep. I turned and saw a guy I’ve seen in passing a few times. The term “golden boy” is the best way I can describe him. He’s thick, like he played football in high school and has soft golden waves sweeping away from his face. His skin is just a bit tanned and when he smiles you want to trust him.

“Leaving already?” He said to me, leaning in closer. We migrated over to a nearby black velvet couch pushed against a wall.

I leaned into him so he could hear me above the music, “I’m drunk and I get uncomfortable when I can’t make clear judgment choices.”

He smiled again and I want to drape myself onto him. I pictured my head resting on his lap while he brushed my hair with his fingers.

“Looks like I caught you at the right time then.” He said winking at me. “I’ve seen you around campus…I am happy to run into you here.”

“Yeah, same. You are more handsome in person; I can’t look away.” I suddenly blurted out.

“I should be saying the same thing to you.” He responded and rested a hand on my thigh, squeezing gently. It was this moment when I realized I didn’t have to hide who I was. I could flirt with this man, and no one would care.

“What’s your name?” I asked, resting my hand on his.

He roamed his hand higher up my thigh, leaning into my ear saying, “Jackson.” He then hovered his mouth over my neck, and I turned my head, so his mouth locked with my own. I spent the next twenty minutes, strung on the couch with my tongue inside Jackson’s mouth.

He and I hung out together a few more times after meeting at the party. We attended a movie screening the weekend after and I found myself looking forward to seeing him. He was easy to be with. I didn’t worry about what he was thinking, he would just tell me. We had been seeing each other for three weeks when Jackson and I made love. It was my first time with anyone. It hurt in the best way possible. I’ve never been that intimate with someone. He brought me flowers the next day and checked in on me throughout. He said he lost his virginity only a few months prior and wanted to make sure I was feeling okay. I should’ve been happy my first time was with Jackson.

However, now after experiencing it, all I could think about what it would be like to make love with Elias. What it would feel like to have his body over mine, inside mine. When waking up to Jackson, I wished it was Elias. I never physically wanted to cheat on Jackson, but my brain was a silent traitor. Each time Jackson started kissing me, taking my length in his mouth, I would close my eyes and imagine it was Elias’ tongue, caressing my hardness, gently sucking. Each time Jackson flipped me over and took me from behind, I pictured Elias’ tall hard body pounding into me instead.

So, two months after I met Jackson, I broke up with him. He was confused, understandably. From his perspective, it came out of nowhere. We spent a lot of time together and took turns at each other’s places, exploring each other’s bodies. He thought our sex was passionate and connected. I didn’t have the guts to tell him I always pictured myself with someone else. Instead, I told him I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, that I thought we should see other people. He understood, because he has a heart of gold. He asked if we could still be friends and I said of course. Before he left my apartment that morning, after some goodbye sex, he said if I ever got lonely, to call him up.

Then I got a text from Elias, telling me to come find him.

We agreed to meet for dinner Thursday night, and I suggested a spot in Greenwich Village. Elias mentioned he missed Boston and I thought he would appreciate the ‘neighborhood’ charm of the Village. It feels like you’re in a small town, not in the middle of the biggest city in the country. The blocks are closer together and trees line the streets. Cafés and restaurants have tables strewn about and flowerboxes are in the windows of the tenants living above.

The Fox and Lark is a dimly lit French restaurant tucked between a flower shop and a ramen restaurant, at 10th and Greenwich Ave. I’ve never been but have walked by a few times. It feels romantic. Which I didn’t realize until I am walking the few blocks to the restaurant to meet Elias. He texted me a couple minutes ago that he’s already there, at a table in the back corner. I walk in and push past the dark red velvet curtains blocking the cold air from the small space. Soft jazz music fills the room as I let my eyes adjust. The space is mainly lit by small wall sconces in amber colored glass. Other than the petite red tea candles at each round table, it feels like a secret to be here. The other patrons are talking at hush tones and even the wait staff slowly glides as they take orders and set food down.

I let the hostess know my name and they direct me to the back of the dining space. I approach, weaving around the compact tables. Couples, friends and coworkers are huddled together in conversations. I see Elias before he sees me and my breath hitches. When I saw him in the park last week, he looked like a mirage. This gorgeous man, sitting on a bench in a small park surrounded by seasonal flowers and trees. He was reading a book, and his nose was pink from the cold weather.

In the restaurant, it feels different. He looks much older than his 19-year-old self. Like fatherhood is already taking a toll on him despite Scarlett not giving birth yet. His skin has paled since living on the east coast, but his olive complexion still exudes a warmth that draws me closer. His dark brown hair, that looks jet black in this lighting, is perfectly styled, swept back with a hair wax. He suits the fashion in New York. He’s dressed in all black. I see a black peacoat draped over the corner booth he is sitting at. His black button up shirt is relaxed against his body. Three buttons undone at the top just enough to see his sculpted chest. Black jeans and black leather sneakers finish off his look. He doesn’t stick out and yet I can’t look away.

As I get closer, he looks up to me and his face morphs into a smile. His eyes twinkle as he meets mine and I can’t help but smile back at him. He slides out of the corner booth and stands up to greet me.

“Madison, I can’t get over that we are adults living in Manhattan.” Elias says pulling me into his arms. We hug quickly but enough to feel his heat linger on me and to smell his cologne. Sandalwood and Bergamot. Comforting, warm and sexy.

We sit at the booth side by side. Our table is the corner of the restaurant and feels more isolated than the others. We are so close; I could rest my left hand on Elias’ thigh if I wanted to.

“It feels like exactly where we should be. I know you didn’t plan to be here in New York, but I’m glad you are.”

“Have you made any friends at NYU yet?” Elias asks, taking a sip of his water.

I tell him briefly about Jackson, leaving out the erotic details but that we dated briefly. Jackson and I are still friendly as we have a couple classes together. I quickly realized he is not heartbroken about our split and already getting close to another classmate of ours.

“So, was he…your first?” Elias asks with a raised eyebrow.

I cough on my water, “Uh, yeah. He was.”

Elias gives me a tight grin, “Look at you, all grown up.” He chuckles. I am trying not to read into any of his expressions. He still hasn’t mentioned anything from the party so for all I know, he still doesn’t remember.

“I feel more comfortable here to be exactly who I want and to figure out anything else I’m unsure about. Did you know? About me?” I ask.

“I had a feeling. Especially when I’d catch you staring at your swim mates’ asses.” He lets out a low rumbling laugh.

“Damn, was I that obvious?” I feel myself blushing. It wasn’t like I was hiding my homosexuality in high school. I just didn’t feel the need to announce it like it was headline news. Especially because if I did, it might make it on some gossip sites.

“I mean, you know me Madison, I will fuck anything with a pulse. It doesn’t matter to me who you are attracted to. I’m happy you can be yourself.” Elias smiles nudging his elbow into my arm.

Our waiter arrives and we place our orders, agreeing to share some small plates as we continue to chat. I can’t help but ask about Scarlett and his living situation.

“We are amicable, now.” He says. “I don’t completely despise her but I’m still sleeping in the guest room. However, I can see that after she gives birth, we may get more romantic. She hates being pregnant.”

“I can imagine. Scarlett is obsessed with her looks.”

“She isn’t going to classes in the new semester, going to do it all independently from the apartment because she doesn’t want to be seen with a giant pregnant belly.”

“Are you attracted to her?” I ask, waiting until our waiter walks away after setting the appetizers down.

“She’s a gorgeous woman and I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t. She is witty and doesn’t take my shit and that only makes me more turned on. If anything, right now, I’m craving a good hate fuck because we still have tension with each other about the situation.”

“Does she bring anyone home?” I feel like I’m interviewing him, but I am curious about their dynamic. They despise each other but also are attracted to one another. It feels like it could be an incredible love story if they worked it out with each other. I hope they don’t.

“She doesn’t but I don’t think she’s been with anyone in a month or two. If she did, she would go to their place. Do you live in this neighborhood?”

“Yeah, I actually live like a couple blocks away.” I say. “Ready to get going, we can walk over to my building.”

“Let’s get out of here, I told Scarlett I’d bring her home a dessert, I saw there’s a pastry shop nearby.”

We pay and leave. A few stores down, is a small bakery selling an array of cakes, macaroons and pastries. Elias picks out a few macaroons for Scarlett and they wrap it in a long slender pink box, tied with a white ribbon.

We quietly walk side by side as I lead us to Cornelia Street. My apartment building is in the middle of the block, an unassuming brick building with three units. My unit is the top floor. I stop at the bottom of the stairs and turn to Elias. It feels like this is our first date and he’s saying goodnight. Walking me to my front door to make sure I get home safely.

Elias is smiling softly down at me. I can tell he wants to say or do something. “I had a great time tonight.” He says, blinking slowly. His long eyelashes fluttering.

“Let’s make this a tradition. Thursdays are my only free days other than random weekends. We can meet for dinner at Fox and Lark.”

“The corner booth at 7pm. I’ll be there waiting for you.” He says and turns around walking away. I watch him as he walks down the street and just before he turns the corner, I run up the stairs and go inside, restraining myself from running after him. I don’t know how much longer I can hold back.

8 – Madison

15 months later

“Happy Birthday” shouts the small gathering surrounding Elias & Scarlett’s dining table. I’m at one end, holding a class of mulled wine with a pink party hat on my head. Beside me is Elias’ mom, Whitney. I haven’t seen her since I graduated high school, so she pulled me aside to chat my ear off. My dad is busy with work, but my mom was already in NYC and is sitting next to Scarlett’s parents.

Scarlett invited a few of her friends from school, who she is huddled next to on her living room couch. And at the other end of the table sits a tiny baby with dark brown ringlets and round hazel eyes. She’s got both her hands in a pink mini cake in front of her while she shoves little fistfuls of cake into her mouth. Behind her is Elias, with the biggest smile on his face as he tries to frantically tie a bib around her before she gets cake on the sparkly dress she is wearing.

Fatherhood suits Elias. He’s officially a DILF. Literally. I know the weeks leading up to the birth he was a wreck but since it’s been a year, he seems like a natural at it, like most things he tries. We would have our Thursday dinners at his apartment right after Scarlett’s delivery so he could help with baby Daisy. I didn’t mind because she is the cutest baby I’ve seen. She looks a lot like Elias. She even has his mom, Whitney’s hazel eyes.

I can’t say the same about Scarlett in terms of motherhood. However, it was clear from the start her feelings toward pregnancy. She was spiteful the entire time towards Elias, blaming him for the situation. He never pushed back on her, he accepted the blame but always told her he was willing to help work it out with her. When the delivery day came and Daisy entered the world, Elias told me it was the most impressive thing he’s witnessed. He gained new respect for Scarlett. Until Daisy was set on her chest and she saw the dark brown tufts of hair and olive skin. She didn’t look like Scarlett, she looked like her dad. It’s just a theory but that is why I think Scarlett isn’t as connected to Daisy.

About two months after Daisy was born, Elias and Scarlett agreed to try to make a relationship work between the two of them. Even though they lived together, they started dating like a proper couple. I don’t want to be but I’m jealous. I wish it was me, not Scarlett. However, I love Daisy so much and I think having both her parents together would be the best situation for her. Elias moved into Scarlett’s room about two months ago now. She’s been more protective of him. Whenever he meets me anywhere, she’s texting him every twenty minutes. She’ll ask me if he’s seeing any other women. If only she knew isn’t other women who she should be worried about.

I wander into the kitchen to grab another plate of miniature foods. Tiny things in celebration of our little Daisy. I hear the clank of Louboutin stilettos before I hear her voice.

“Madison! Thanks for coming darling.” Scarlett says squeezing me in a hug from behind. Her and I have bonded through the past year. From me hanging out with Daisy, to even her and I getting brunch occasionally. Though, I think she just is getting recon about Elias, I don’t mind having another friend to gossip with.

“I wouldn’t miss celebrating lil’ D.” I say and Scarlett winces.

“Yuck, I hate when you two call her that.”

I chuckle and take a bite of a hamburger slider.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something.” She says in a whispered tone, pulling me deeper into the kitchen away from the ears of the party guests.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I say leaning in.

“Is Elias screwing the Au Pair?” I cough and nearly choke on the slider. That was the last thing I thought she was going to ask me.

They hired a live-in Au Pair when Daisy was 3 months old. Both Elias and Scarlett needed to return to their classes full time and didn’t have enough time to watch Daisy. Adeline is an 18-year-old girl who is coincidentally from France. She said she moved to New York to be an actress but is working as an Au Pair to have housing and money. I’ve never heard anything about Elias being attracted to her or making a move on her. He would’ve told me otherwise. He loves boasting about his sexual encounters.

I swallow my bite before speaking, “Not that I’m aware of but I highly doubt that. What makes you think so?”

She takes a long inhale and side eyes to the party. I follow her eyes and see Adeline standing behind Elias’ chair as he has Daisy on his lap. Adeline is just watching them, and I don’t know if Elias’ realizes she’s standing behind him.

“I found nude photos of her in the trash can in his office.” She takes out her phone and shows me the pictures she took of the photos. She’s right they are printed photos of Adeline, sprawled over a bed completely naked. It looks like she took them herself. Even though Adeline is 18, she’s quite petite and small. She looks younger so I feel even more uncomfortable seeing the images.

I cover her phone with my hand, “They were in the trash though?”

“It doesn’t matter! Why are they in his office anyway?” she whisper shouts.

“I don’t know but I know Elias and that doesn’t seem like something he’d do.”

“Can you ask him? But be discreet about it. Please Madison. I know he tells you everything.” I think about it and nod. I am curious myself what the situation is.

“Yeah, I’ll ask. Do you ever see them together alone?” I ask.

“No, not really. He’s either in his office or at school when she’s here and when we are both at home, she is usually out. But…”

“But, what?”

“This is embarrassing. The father of my child, my boyfriend, may have an affair with the nanny. I just can’t take it.”

“What else are you leaving out Scarlett? I need to know if I’m going to ask him.”

She leans in closer to me, I smell her sharp, vanilla perfume. “One evening, after I put Daisy to bed. Instead of sleeping, I went to the kitchen and heard Elias in his office. It sounded like he was jerking off.” She says, her face turning a bit pink.

“That’s very normal for guys, Scar.”

“Psh, yeah, I know! But I thought it would be hot ya know if I walked in on him touching himself and it was like a sexy fantasy thing.” I swallow and nod. “Sorry, TMI. Anyway, as I got closer to the door, I heard him say ‘Addy’ like at least three times. In a breathy way that definitely made it sound like he was looking at those nasty pictures while he was going to town with his hand. I went to bed and found the photos in the trash the next morning.”

“Geez, Scarlett. I hope that’s not true. I don’t even hear you guys call her that.”

“We don’t but I don’t know what he calls her in private. Best case, he was just whacking off to her photos but isn’t sleeping with her. Worst case, is they are having an affair right under my nose.” She huffs and crosses her arms. “Let me know if you find out anything.”

Scarlett walks away and I think about the pieces of evidence she’s told me. The photos are suspicious. But my gut is telling me that Elias isn’t sleeping with her. I walk back into the living room and take the chair directly across from him. He looks up at me and gives me the brightest smile. My smile. No one else gets this one. His mouth wide, dimples on display and eyes sparkling with delight.

He wasn’t saying Addy. I know it. He was saying Maddy.

9 – Elias

Madison pulls me aside and asks to go in my office for a minute. Says he wants to ask a question about some painting I have on the wall. Total bullshit but I play along and follow him down the hall to my office in the corner of the apartment. It is in a small hallway off the living room separated from the rest of the bedrooms.

Once inside, Madison closes the door behind me and looks at me, “Sit.” He points to my desk.

“Oh no, have I been naughty Mr. Bennett-Quinn?” I ask flirtatiously.

“Yes, you have.” Madison says rolling his eyes. I’m a little shocked he responded that way and I’m getting a bit heated just with those three words.

“What did I do? Are you going to spank me?” I say, lowering voice, chuckling.

Madison takes a seat in the chair facing my desk. “When did you remember?”

My face falls. I am a confused by his question.

“Scarlett just pulled me aside the kitchen, freaking out because she thinks you’re sleeping with Adeline.”

“The Au Pair?! Are you kidding? Have some respect for me Madison.” I say feeling frustrated. I know I can be a bit of a slut, but I wouldn’t stoop as low as sleeping with the nanny. I have plenty of women throwing themselves at me in school that I could go for. “Adeline is like a child. That’s disgusting. Why would she think that?”

“She found nude photos of her in your trash can.”

“Ugh.” I say, my hands holding my head as I lean against my desk.

“I found those slid under my door one day after I got home from class. They are burned in my mind; I wish I could erase them. I should’ve shredded them, but I just threw them away as fast as I could.”

“She also heard you say her name when you were jacking off in your office one night.”

I look up. That is impossible. I never even think of her. I don’t deny using my office as my personal space. It’s why I have a lock on the door.

“She heard me say ‘Adeline’?” I ask in disbelief, my fingers massaging my temples. Scarlett accuses me of cheating on her every time I glance at another woman. I just got on her good side this past week but knew it was short lived.

“No, you didn’t. You said Addy.” Madison says.

I lower my hands and look up at him. He’s staring right at me, knowingly. “I wasn’t saying Addy.”

“I know.” He pauses, “When did you remember?” He asks again, and I realize what he’s asking. I take a deep breath, suddenly nervous to talk to my best friend.

“When Scarlett called me, telling me she was pregnant. I thought back to that night and remembered everything.”

“Everything?” Madison asks again, standing and walking over to me.

“Yes. Everything. I even remembered what I wanted to do to you in your room, but I passed out before you got there.”

Madison moves closer and I turn my chair, so I am facing him, my legs parted wide. He takes a step so he’s standing between my legs, looking down on me. Madison moves with confidence, his face bold. I’ve never seen this side of him before. My hands feel like they are on fire and the only relief would be to touch Madison.

“Tell me what you think about.” He says, leaning down putting his hands on either side of my chair’s armrest. “Tell me what think, when you whisper my name. Tell me what you wanted to do.”

“Maddy,” I manage to say, standing, forcing him to straighten, so we are eye to eye. He moves back a bit without touching me. “I haven’t lived a day where I don’t think about you. Your touch, your taste.” I keep stalking toward him as he backs up until he hits the wall.

“When I’m alone, I picture you on your knees under my desk while you take me in your mouth. I picture releasing down your throat.” I raise my hand, lightly gripping the side of his throat, caressing the center with my thumb. He swallows. “Do you think about me, my sweet Maddy?”

His hazel eyes look deeply up at mine. “Ever since nineth grade, I’ve wanted to kiss you. When we did at the grad party, it was a dream. Except you didn’t remember it.”

“I remember now.”

“So, what does that mean? What does it mean for us?” He asks.

I lean in towards him, tracing his jaw with the tip of my nose.

“You’re with Scarlett. I can’t separate you and her from Daisy.” He finally says.

I close my eyes. “I can’t stay away from you any longer. I need you Maddy.” I open my eyes and look down on him. Madison’s tentativeness no longer showing on his face. Instead, one of hunger.

In a quick move he grabs the side of my face and pulls my lips into his. I breath in sharply at the nostalgic feeling of his kiss. It almost makes me emotional. I never thought we’d kiss again. I run my fingers through his hair, kissing him hard before pulling him away from me.

“I can’t do this now, not here. Not with Daisy here.” We are both breathing hard. My own erection is yelling at me for disrupting our kiss. “Next Thursday, I’ll go to your apartment.”

Maddy nods, “Okay. It will be torture. But I’ll wait for you.” I caress his cheek and give him another kiss before running my fingers through his hair to make it look less disheveled.

“Go back to the party, tell Scarlett I’m not sleeping with the Au Pair. That I was watching some movie and she misheard. I’m sure she’ll fire the Au Pair anyway. Heck, I might even fire her.”

I straighten my clothes and go sit back at the desk. Maddy turns to walk out but rotates back to look at me.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Well, I have a nine-inch brick in my pants that I need to relieve before I return to my daughter’s 1st birthday. I’ll be out soon.” I smile at him.

He chuckles, blush flaring on his cheeks and walks out, back to the party.

The above is an excerpt from a rough draft of an upcoming release by Anjelica Rose called Maroon. Note that any content my change once published.

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